Relationships and Social Skills
Autistic individuals often want and value relationships just as much as their neurotypical peers, but they may face unique challenges in forming and maintaining them. These challenges are linked to differences in communication, social understanding, and the ability to process emotional signals. While family, peer, and romantic relationships are possible and essential, they are often shaped by these social differences (Travis & Sigman, 1998).
Types of Relationships
Research shows that many autistic people have a strong interest in friendships, intimacy, and romantic partnerships (Soares et al. 2021). However, they may experience delays in starting romantic relationships, have more difficulty maintaining them over time, and often worry about their ability to adapt to intimacy (Bennett et al., 2019; Beato, Sarmento, & Correia, 2024). This is not due to a lack of desire for closeness, but rather to challenges in navigating the “rules” of relationships.
Within families, bonds are typically present, but communication differences can make interactions more directive and less reciprocal. For example, parents may need to guide more,
and children may find it harder to anticipate others’ responses. This can limit opportunities to develop a shared understanding in the parent-child relationship (Travis & Sigman, 1998). Difficulties in conversation, play coordination, and emotional sharing with peers can reduce the likelihood of building long-lasting friendships. In adolescence and adulthood, these same challenges can make it harder to experience intimacy and trust in close relationships.
Social Skills
Social skills are at the centre of these difficulties. Many autistic people struggle to interpret nonverbal communication, manage conversations, recognise personal boundaries, and handle social anxiety. As a result, they may find it harder to understand flirting, to initiate a relationship, or to respond to rejection (Beato et al., 2024). These challenges can also create confusion about different types of relationships. For example, distinguishing between friendship and romance or exploring one’s sexual orientation.
Practical Implications for Professionals
For professionals working with autistic individuals, it is essential to recognise that the desire for relationships is present, but that specific support may be needed. This includes:
● Teaching and modelling how to recognise social cues (e.g., flirting, setting boundaries).
● Supporting conversations around identity, intimacy, and sexual orientation.
● Helping to break down relationship skills into concrete, teachable steps.
● Encouraging families and peers to interpret differences in communication as part of autism, not as disinterest.
By addressing these social and communication needs, professionals can help autistic people build healthier and more fulfilling connections across all types of relationships.